St. Catherine of Siena has candle lighting available in the Holy Family area. 15 years ago today, Tony asked me to marry him. We were able to be present at the 9 am Mass in his memory today. My sons wait anxiously for the prayers of the faithful when the prayer is read, “For Tony Roemer, who we remember.”
Nothing fills the void of Tony’s absence. Faith, prayer, and listening carefully lead me forward. Taking time to light a candle in remembrance of this immense day of love helps me think of the Light that remains from our years together- as well as the Everlasting Light Tony shares in and shines on us as we continue our earthly walk. One of the grief suggestions for surviving loved ones is “Write Down All your Memories- every single one- not just the highlights. For me, this day is a standout-it is the beginning of our commitment to grow our own Holy Family of Roemers.
After 9 am Mass, Ryan had his “Jesus Preschool” as he calls it at 11 am. It was utterly bone-chilling snow and sleet. Merely an hour later we made a drive by to Hope Cemetery to say a prayer with Daddy in brilliant sun and warmth.
What began 15 years ago today as couple hoping for a Holy Family- continues deeply and intentionally as I witnessed Luke receive his Parvuli Dei award. Work reflecting his life as a “Child of God,” Luke endeavored to read scripture, help others, and do family prayers with reflection. Deep in my heart, I thank God for the grace of this culmination of Luke’s reflections,writings and thoughts he compiled be presented to him on this day. We hoped beyond hope 15 years ago that we would give the gift of faith to our children. Luke has taken another step this year by choosing scouting as a way to grow.
One part of my memory of this day (Easter Monday,1998) is that we lived hundreds of miles apart at the time of our engagement; he proposed to me in the rain- so similar to the weather this morning. Shortly afterward we had to get in our cars and drive away from each other physically and start preparing for the journey to become One states apart. It seemed ‘unfair’ that day we couldn’t just relish the joy and excitement together day in day out. The capacity to trust in God then and appreciate the gift of one another beyond physical presence is now, more than ever a practice I must live. That 24 year old bride-to-be was overjoyed but felt the ‘unfairness’ of distance. God prepared me then in a small way- and revealed through the gift of our nearly 14 year marriage– that the waiting will be worth it. One day, when I can be reunited for eternity with Tony I will see this time in my life as brief as the months between our engagement and wedding . Until that glorious day, I thank God for the opportunity to grow- to choose to relish my side of Heaven as a mother devoted to keeping our dream of a Holy Family my biggest priority. No one knows the outcome of this hope; but I seek God’s mercy and I endeavor to trust in God’s grace as I dedicate my life to helping my ‘Children of God’ seek Heaven.
Love, Light and Miracles 